I tend to agree with what you're saying although there might be some semantic differences in how I've expressed it.
At some point as an alum, booster, supporter, etc. the only way you can effect change, if that is what you believe is the answer, is to speak with your wallet. So not attending games, not donating, does hurt the program in the short term but also sends a message that the current level of performance is not acceptable.
I think a big driver in this is the lack of communication towards the alumni. Simple things like the facility improvements or number of funded scholarships are held in secret (for what reason I would love to know). It makes it difficult to donate money when you feel like you are not given any insight to the program. Being open would drive up donations I feel. If I was the AD and we were in a budget shortfall I'd be screaming from the Gunter Hall bell tower that we needed more support. If we were only funding 60 scholarships and needed to be at 63 I'd be telling any newspaper and radio station I could get on the phone about it hoping Alumni would hear the word and send a little bit to get over that hump...
But no, we get a stonewall.
You reap what you sow... You give nothing to the alumni you get nothing back...